Losing a parent can be really devastating and for those readers out there who need to deal with that we express our deepest condolences. In this article we shall present some advices and support that can help you in this grieving period.
Our parents are the pillars of our emotional well-being and when we lose them the pain is great that can overwhelm us completely. This sad event leaves deep traces on our life and the healing process lasts very long and in that period any help is highly welcomed.
Follow reading and find out how you can cope with this immense pain and how it can be life-changing.
How does a death of a parent affect your life?
1. Feeling Pain in Your All Body
Due to great grief every cell in the body can ache making you physically sick. Men particularly are more prone to changes in their health and well-being when they experience a death of a parent. Even if the pain is enormous you need to take care of your body, physically and emotionally.
2. Higher Anxiety and Depression
Stress is a part of our lives, but after losing a parent it is more difficult to deal with. Daily chores and responsibilities become a hassle and the worries are higher than before. According to the latest research people who have lost a parent are more susceptible to developing depression, anxiety and substance abuse.
3. Emotions Get More Complicated
Grief is an unfortunate experience comprised of great number of complicated and conflicting emotions. It is not a sole feeling of fear, sadness, relief, guilt, anger, and numbness, but a combination of all of them within few minutes. You should not escape from your negative emotions as they are a part of the healing process. This is the only and healthy way.
4. Relationship with Siblings Changes
Each family has its own relationships among the family members, but when a death of a parent occurs no matter of the type of family you have the change of the established relationships is inevitable. In some families, the shock of grief can cause friction and conflict between siblings. On the other hand, the sad occurrence in some families can lead to healing of previously broken relationships. The bonds that you have with your family members are precious and because of that you should never underestimate their existence. Therefore, always check on each other and if possible try to be there for your brother or sister.
5. Listening Complaints from Other People Bothers You
Before you have experienced a death of a parent the negative remarks of other people about their parents were not that important. Now, that can irritate you a lot and there is nothing more that you would like than to get “bothered” by your parent about a specific food recipe or listening about the upcoming weather forecast. You would give anything the check your voicemails and listen to your parent voice once again.
6. The Flaws and Mistakes of Your Parent Are Being Accepted
Our parents were our role models when we were children at whom we looked upon and trusted them completely. As we became adults we realize that they can also make mistakes like we do and some of us cannot accept them. But, once we lose them we realize that they are only humans and all the flaws and mistakes are being forgotten. We see them in a new light and forgive them.
7. Living with Sadness
You learn to live with the sadness which at some point is a normal thing. You can not completely overcome grief and you will always miss your parent. The sadness feeling can be intense but there will be days when the absence of your parent will not be so obvious. These are normal fluctuations of feeling sorrow and in time you will find a way how to cope with the grief and try to move forward.
But, if the feeling of sadness is still persistent and does not fluctuate after certain period of months or even years, then it is best to seek for help from a professional. This can turn into a persistent complex bereavement disorder which is a mental health condition where grief interrupts your ability to function for a long period of time.
8. You Will Even Try to Call Them
You may even forget that your parent is gone and whenever having an exciting news you may catch yourself how you are dialing his or hers number to share the news. Once you realize that, the felted grief is immense as there is no one on the other end of the line to listen to your news.
9. Holidays Are Not the Same Anymore
The way how we shall celebrate the holidays is being established by our parents. When they are not there with us anymore that pattern is not the same anymore. The first holidays after their death will be unbearable to survive, you will feel lonely and devastated, but time heals everything, and in this case it will not be completely, but it will help in finding new ways how to celebrate important things in life without having the feeling of sorrow.
10. You Will Realize the Strong Love for Your Parents
Naturally you have always loved your parents, but once they are gone you are going to feel the strength of your love. You will feel the new kind of love for your parents and this is not a consolation, but as time passes you will acknowledge the perspective of this new type of love.