If you are in abusive relationship you should definitely try to leave it. The first signs you will notice is that the relationship starts with charm and kindness, but as time goes by the relationship slowly changes. If fact, before you even notice you will be in danger of the abusive cycle that you won’t be able to leave. It is very easy to get advices from people on how to do it, but it is very hard to do it once you are in the cycle. Due to these reasons we are going to present to you several ways on how to break this cycle and get out of abusive relationship.
Here are the six steps that will help you leave the abusive relationship safely:
- Immediately seek help from domestic abuse expert
According to a research conducted by Dr. Christine Murray from the University of North Caroline you should “Talk with a professional who can help you develop a safety plan.” You should be aware that leaving an abusing relationship is not easy, but with professional help you might get out of the cycle much easier. Due to these reasons you should find domestic violence advocate that is trained for this type of situations in order to help you.
- Openly talk about possible risks
People are aware that leaving abusive relationship could lead to escalation of violence. Dr. Murray say “It’s important to think through all the possible safety risks. Where are you vulnerable? At work, home, a shelter, a friend’s house? What can you do to address those vulnerabilities?” It is hard to predict what could happen, but at least what you could do is think about the possibilities and safe solutions.
- Make sure that you have plans in advance
You will need a plan! For instance, you could talk to your neighbor, family member, or a friend in order to let them know and be aware of the situation. This will help you to have someone that is ready to help you at any given time. In case you are not sure whether you want to leave, you should have a safe place once you find yourself in danger.
- Seek restraining order
Dr. Murray suggests: “Have a professional walk you through the process of getting a protection order. Rules can be different depending on what state or county you live in.” It is important that you file restraining order in order to feel a bit safer. Also you will need to ensure that the restraining order sets clear consequences once the abuser tries to get in touch with you.
- Prepare emergency bag
People that are in abusive relationships should have emergency bag ready. This bag should contain cash, prescriptions, important documents, clothes, and everything else you think might be needed. Place this bag in hidden place where the abuser can’t find it.
- Your safety is the most important
You will need to ask yourself what is the best way to get out of this abusive relationship, and how to do it safely. Dr. Murray explains: “View everything through that lens – there’s nothing more important than your and your kids’ safety.”
Sources and References:
National Domestic Violence Hotline