Rudeness is not a good trait in people and commonly happens in people that spit out their thoughts without thinking twice. Even though these words may not have been intentional they can still hurt, especially when they are hitting below the belt.
In the book, “Rudeness: Deal with It if you Please” by Catherine Rondina, there is an explanation why people are rude to other people. Quoting: “There are a number of reasons why people behave rudely. Some of these might include the fact that they only care about what they think or need or they believe their feelings are more important than the feelings of others.
They might have little or no patience for other people and they do not appreciate the differences in others.”
Further on, the author explains that rude people with their behavior are trying to shock people that are around them. In order to remain calm in the presence of such people you should learn or find out the reasons for their behavior. If you understand the reasons that cause their rudeness, you may find it easier to ignore it and you may even feel a little bit of compassion for them. Rondina writes: “Perhaps they never learned any better.”
Although experiencing rudeness can be very offensive particularly if it originates from the ones that you care about or your boss at work, you need to find a way how to cope with it. You need to keep your positivity and your politeness as that makes you different from these people. It may not be easy, but keeping your sanity is more important than being frustrated in such company.
How to remain positive and calm when dealing with rude people?
Here are some tips and used sentences:
Laughing will for sure embarrass the rude person, and that will send the message that his or hers behavior does not affect you at all and that even responding to such behavior is silly.
2. “You always have something negative to say, don’t you?”
By saying this sentence the focus will get directed to the other person and that will make him or her to reconsider their behavior in future. You need to respond to such behavior and one should always speak up about it.
3. “That almost hurt my feelings”
You may find it a little bit sarcastic, yet you are the one acting maturely in this situation, conveying the message that you will no longer put up with this behavior and that will put a stop to it.
4. “I appreciate your perspective”
This is an intelligent respond to rude behavior and as adults you accept the other person perspective which just shows his or hers shaky perception of themselves. In this way you are showing that you will not allow anyone to bring you down and affect you with their negativity.
5. “This conversation is now over”
If you cannot put up with the rudeness anymore just end the conversation, but do it in a civil way. If you lose your temper, then you have allowed to be affected by the rudeness of the other person. Avoid a heated argument and thus keep your dignity and clarity of your mind protecting yourself form the evil comments.
6. “You are right”
This is another way how to stop this unbearable conversation even though it may not be satisfying, but for sure will prevent the unnecessary heated disagreement.
7. “Why do you think that was necessary, and what do you really expect me to answer?”
This is the perfect sentence if the rudeness happens in front of other people showing that you are the one who is reasonable. Despite his or hers behavior you are still calm and offer a chance to the other to apologize to you in front of the others. If on the second question you receive a positive answer, just reply with “Well, it looks like this isn’t your lucky day.”
8. “Thank you”
Thanking someone is a clear message that these rude words do not affect you and that you are an adult and mature person that will not easily lose its temper over someone’s recklessness or negativity. These words will stop the other person from any comments.
9. “I love myself, and I love you too”
Even the people you love can be very rude sometimes, and this sentence is the appropriate answer for them. It will quickly make them quiet showing them that you are kind even when they are negative. Saying it will make all the bad comments and remarks irrelevant, and boost the spirit in the room.
It is very important to keep your sanity in these situations, but according to Psychology Today you need to show that you will not accept such behavior in future:
“Obviously, when someone’s rudeness crosses the line and becomes bullying or harassment, you must be a proactive “whistleblower” and alert others to the details of your hostile work environment. Sometimes being ‘polite’ is not an appropriate response to disrespectful treatment.
When dealing with rude people always stay even-keel and use common sense. Trust your gut instincts and intellect when deciding whether to let rudeness roll off your back in an attempt to create an upward spiral of more empathy and kindness by “not fighting back.”
In some instances, we all need to put our foot down and make it clear, in the spirit of ‘ferocious equanimity,’ that we won’t tolerate rude or insulting behavior anymore. “