The human being is not meant to live alone; it needs a companion through its life, and not only a love partner but as well as friends that make it fulfilling.
Friends are our chosen family with whom we want to share every moment of our life including the good and the bad things. True friends will always be there in both aspects in life and offer us the needed support whenever we ask for it, but unfortunately there are also the toxic friends that bring only negativity and thus draining out all the positive energy we have. In that case, these people are not your friends and you should try your best to avoid their company as they will make you only miserable.
Try to guide your life according to the saying of Paulo Coelho– “Life is too short, or too long, for me to allow myself the luxury of living it so badly.”
Florence Isaacs, author of Toxic Friends/True Friends, explains in its book how toxic friends can be demanding, unreliable, and even stressful. These friendships are not true as they bring only negativity in life and that is something that for sure you do not need to have in your life. Isaacs specifies 5 types of friends that you should exclude from your life.
5 Friends That You Do Not Need in Your Life
1. The Fake One
This friend always gives compliments, but they are not true, especially if he or she says bad things about you behind your back. This person is your friend only when he needs something from you, but he is never there when you really need his help.
2. The Complainer
Complaining is normal for people but not when it is persistent. We all have something to complain about in life and when it happens once and awhile it is harmless. In the case of chronic complaining coming from people that surround you it is far from good as they will overwhelm you with their persistent negativity and drawn you into their vicious circle. These people are never satisfied with their life, and can convince you too that your life is bad thus pulling you in their toxicity. Hence, be very careful and do not end up being like them.
3. The Constant Doubter
This so called friend is jealous of you, always criticizing you, and finding true joy only when you fail. You do not want such friend near you.
4. The Show off
This one likes to show off a lot that is even annoying. However, this is not harmless showing off as while boasting about his perfect job, or perfect partner, he or she is trying to tell you that you are not as good as he is.
5. The Naysayer
The constant negativity is a typical trait of this friend who does not support or believe in you. This friend will never stood by you and will make all your goals in life meaningless thus discouraging your ideas and destroying your hopes.
If you want your life to be meaningful and happy make certain to surround yourself only with positive people. The right people are the ones that bring positivity in your life who incite you to do better and to achieve your goals. People who make you unhappy, dissatisfied, empty, and disappointed are not your true friends or for that matter the right people in your life.
Here it is what experts say about this:
Julie Ward, a Toronto-based relationship coach, says that people that are around us are the ones with whom we share common beliefs and behaviors. This is the way how we attract them and they represent a mirror of our stage of development.
Ward offers her advice:
“We teach people how to treat us. The people who come into our lives are just mirroring where we are in our own growth as individuals. It’s like magnets. We’re attracting them to us. To change that magnetism, we need to change who we are being.”
Charles Figley Ph.D., professor, and director of the Psychological Stress Research Program at Florida State University states the following:
“Breaking up with anyone, whether it’s a spouse, love relationship, or a friend is not fun. It’s even more important in this kind of context. In contrast to a love relationship in which you recognize you aren’t compatible, this type of relationship is hurting you.”