Having children is a blessing in life, but how many are enough?
For some people the ideal number is three, but it seems that for moms this number could be the most stressful one according to the latest survey. It is better to have four than stay with three, if that makes any sense for you. Nonetheless, let us read what the research on this issue has come up with.
According to the same, three may be the most problematic, and if you can survive with three than there will be no problem for four or even more. Many people will find this conclusion unbelievable as four should require more work than three.
Taking care of your children is a hard but fulfilling job starting from their infancy up to adulthood. Yes, it can be stressful and energy demanding but the joy they bring to our lives is irreplaceable with anything else. Stress is a part if their upbringing.
How three are more stressful than four?
An American 2013 survey performed by Today Parents revealed that mothers with three children are more stressful than others with a different count. For the purpose of this survey were interviewed 7,164 mothers in the states and the results showed that moms of three deal with the highest rate of stress. In a scale of 10 their stress rate reached 8.5 compared to the stress of other mothers. In terms of the gender of children, 60% of the mothers reported that girls are more stressful in the upbringing process than boys due to the higher need of care and attention. However, we cannot completely rely on these statistics as that it is still questionable.
Here it is what one mother who participated in survey stated. Jill Smokler said the following:
“Going from one to two was an easy, breezy transition. Two to three, everything was turned upside down. I did not feel like I had it together…just crossing the street and not being able to physically hold all their hands. I found this tremendously stressful.”
Chelsea Clinton, daughter of Bill and Hillary Clinton, says the following: “When it comes to kids, three is the magic number…for stress.”
Dr. Janet Taylor, and established Psychiatrist, maintains that having three children is the breaking point of many parents. When having four or more children you somehow let go and feel more confident in your parenthood. Life does not seem that stressful anymore. Here it is what Dr. Taylor says, quote:
“There’s just not enough space in your head for perfectionism when you get to four or more kids. The more children you have, the more confident you become in your parenting abilities. You have to let go … and then you’re just thankful when they all get to school on time.”
Are the children the biggest stress for many moms?
The results of this survey were amazing, here they are:
- 9 out of 10 mothers say that they stress a lot about staying fit and attractive.
- 72% mothers are just being stressed about how stressed they are.
- 60% claim that it is the lack of time that stresses them a lot thus not being able to finish everything on time.
- 46% of mothers gave the most amazing reason for stress stating that their husbands or partners cause them more stress than their children do.
Body changes are one of the major causes of post-partum depression, and this should not be taken lightly with the constant pressure of how some moms have immediately restored their body shape after the delivery. Moreover, this gets enhanced with all the celebrities that have almost immediately regained their pre-pregnancy bodies. It is normal for your body to change during pregnancy and especially if you have more pregnancies. There is simply no time to hit the gym as there are more important things to do. Nonetheless, every woman still wants to feel beautiful in every part of her life and because of that most women feel very stressful about their bodies.
Mothers feel great stress when not being able to finish everything in the day. For a mom there are so many daily tasks and chores to be done, starting from early getting up, preparing breakfast and lunch for school, school drop-offs or pickups. Working moms are even more stressful like getting in time to their workplace, house chores, taking children to out-school activities like music practice, games and so on. If the day could be longer a mom would manage to finish everything, but step by step, there is no use of overworked and stressed mom. A mom deserves a day at the spa and some “me” time so that she could be fully functional.
The funniest statistics was that moms are sometimes more stressed from their husbands than from the children. Ironically, this is true and most moms are just being stressed because of all that stress that they are going through, making them even more stressful.
Nevertheless, children bring the light in our lives and we should appreciate every minute spent with them. We should learn how to manage stress as it is a part of life. This should be a common knowledge for every mom and dad out there. Just gear up and be prepared for every count of children you plant to have in your life, but remember at number four you have become professionals in stress management.