Parental Burnout: Moms Need Equality in Raising Children, Self-Care, and Most Importantly, Massages!

Being a mother is probably the hardest job in the world, wondering all the time whether you have done the right thing. This is a normal thing, but in order to prevent the highly possible burn out mothers need to have a break and find a way how to cope with all the hectic activities every day.

Scientists have become also aware of the possible burnout of mothers emphasizing that we need to offer them the attention they desperately need. Namely, burnout happens when a person is in an extended state of emotional imbalance and the resulting stress makes the person feel overwhelmed not being able to cope with the current situation.

There are moments in life when everything falls down on you and in the case of mothers that can be literally almost every second day; having a child sick at home, the other one has issues with the school, the house needs proper take care of, and on top of it the washing machine is broken. This may seem as little things but the constant strive to find the balance between work and home at some points in life can be overwhelming.

This is not exclusively happening to mothers but it can as well as happens to fathers. In order not to feel burnout you can do little things and prevent it from happening as the problems will be always there. You need to learn how to take care of yourself.

What self-care means?

Even though you find it impossible to have time for self-care you need to do it as you really and badly need it. You will benefit from it in every way, physically, mentally, and emotionally; and believe us that will even make you a better mom.

Many women have become of this aware like the mom of three and a reporter for ABC News in New York, Genevieve Shaw Brown: “We have to prioritize the same as we would prioritize things for our kids. We’d never miss an appointment for our kids, because they are important. Equally important is prioritizing yourself and your own needs.”

Yet, despite the great need for finding some time for yourself, some mothers find it selfish. They even experience anxiety if they do not do anything as during that period some other more important things can get finished. They would rather run to the grocery store or clean out shelves believing that they have been productive in that particular day. This may be true to some extent but on the long run it will not do any good to them and to their family members.

 This is how Aimee Danielson, director of the Women’s Mental Health Program at MedStar Georgetown University Hospital in the District, convinces mothers that they need self-care:

“The question I ask moms is, ‘If you were choosing a child-care provider, and you had a choice between someone who seemed stressed, tired, and overwhelmed versus someone who seemed rested, contented, happy and healthy, who would you want for your kids? If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for your kids.”

It seems that mothers forget that they are not the only member in parenthood as they have a partner with whom they have children and that they should take some of the responsibilities. In fact a proper parenthood requires 50/50 share from both parents.

You cannot be a Super Mom by doing it all by yourself and that occasional day off or a bubble bath is not a proper self-care. This is not a way of treating one overworked parent by just having a spa day, and then immediately to be thrown back into it an unequal division of responsibilities.

Most women when asking for help think it as “a favor”, but it is not, if you are with a partner it is his or hers responsibility as well. Self-care can be truly achieved only when there is division of responsibilities.

Raising a family is not an easy job as this one is 24/7, especially when having babies or toddlers. Since the major burden falls on mothers they need self-care desperately and are entitled to have it. Hence, a visit to the hair and nail salon, having a massage, going to the library, yoga classes, having a coffee at the café, or some other activity is a must for mothers. Here are some ideas that can offer good self-care.

Self-Care Tips

Having a bubble bath is not the only way for self-care as that is only having a small break from the daily routine. You need to find an activity or practice that fulfills you and offers you enjoyment. Here below are some ideas that can offer that, you can choose some of them and find out if that is the way that will offer you relaxation and the needed energy.

  • There is no harm if you ask for help
  • Consume a healthy snack
  • Take a walk or jog
  • Read an interesting book
  • Visit a museum
  • Listen to your favorite music
  • Sing if that relaxes you
  • Have a massage
  • Talk with your friend
  • Write your thoughts in a diary
  • Take up yoga classes
  • Meditate
  • Unplug from your devices
  • Try to take those deep breaths when waiting for the green light
  • Get a manicure or pedicure
  • Sub bathe
  • You can paint on canvas or color
  • Go to bed early
  • Listen to a podcast
  • Dating is a good thing with your special person

All these things can be really good for you, but in this article we shall focus on the massage and its all amazing benefits.

Massage – A Self-Care Method

This method is well-known for its amazing benefits in terms of relaxation relieving the body from the build-up stress and anxiety. Therefore, it is a great method for a person that struggles with depression, anxiety and low mood. It will help with the pain relief and offer the needed self-care for mothers that are on the verge of burnout struggling with hectic schedules, stress-management, poor sleeping patterns, and excessive consumption of caffeine.

A good body massage will be very beneficial for mothers experiencing postpartum depression, especially when it is applied by a specialist in prenatal and perinatal, and postpartum women. It can help with the swelling part, better breastfeeding and regulate hormones. The application of an advanced massage therapy can aid in restoring the shape of the body like in its pre-pregnancy condition and help with the healing of the C-section birth.

As mentioned before it is a proven method that can help in reducing stress, anxiety, and bad moods. It can help with the reduction of cortisol levels and thus calm the body and mind. In addition to this, it boosts the immune system that can be completely shaken while stress periods. Several studies have confirmed the benefits of massages reporting lowered anxiety and depression symptoms, and improvement in cases of back pain, asthma, arthritis, job stress, and multiple sclerosis.

According to a conducted study released in Depress Anxiety the involved participants reported substantial decrease in anxiety after a 12-week massage treatment period, and the improvements still continued by the 26-week follow up.

If you want to continue to be a Super Mom you should allow yourself with the experience of this massage treatment. The introduction of a self-care massage will help you with stress management, insomnia, depression, and even panic attacks. This will help you to have a healthy body and a good body and mind relaxation.

There are many types of self-massages, and if at some point you have tried a massage and did not fit you, then it is most likely that you have not used the right one. Here are different types of massages and one of them may suit your requirements making you more pleasant, happier and kinder.

Types of Massages for a Super Mom

  1. Reflexology

It is an excellent type for good relaxation thereby restoring natural energy levels.

  1. Aromatherapy

Thanks to inhaling various aromas the soul will experience emotional healing improving your mood meanwhile soothing pain and tension.

  1. Trigger Point Massage

This one is particularly suitable for people with injuries, chronic pain, or specific issues or conditions.

  1. Thai Massage

This type of massage is based on yoga stretching and thus enhancing body circulation, flexibility and energy levels.

  1. Shiatsu Massage

 It is good for both the mind and body as it soothes anxiety and muscle tension.

  1. Swedish Massage

If you are beginner in using massages, then this is the best one for you, and it will free your body from the tension and knots.

  1. Deep Tissue Massage

Contrary to the Swedish massage more pressure is being applied which helps with chronic muscle problems.

  1. Sports Massage

This massage is ideal for physically active people that inevitably suffer from injuries or simply even if you do not follow a sports activity but experience plenty of injuries.

  1. Prenatal Massage

It is excellent massage for the ladies in the pregnancy period as it helps with decreasing body aches, stress, and muscle tension.

  1. Chair Massage

This one is also good for beginners as it is a quick massage that targets the neck, shoulders and back.

  1. Hot Stone Massage

The use of hot stones is of great assistance in relieving tension and muscle pain.

  1. Couple’s Massage

You can choose any massage and do it together with your partner, or friend.

Mommy burnout is preventable if mothers apply proper self-care in time and this is very important for them and as well as for their children. Proper care of yourself will better the mood and thus the mood of your children and that makes it a valuable investment. Therefore, opt for the self-care that most suits you and take a break from time to time as you deserve it.