It seems that parents have become too lenient with their children and that in fact backfires a lot. A strict parent does not always necessarily mean a bad parent. It is good for a parent to have principles and children to obey them. This does not mean that the children are being hurt, but only that they need to follow certain rules in their household.
Many parents make the mistake of raising their children when comparing their own childhood with the one of their children and trying to prevent themselves from making the “mistakes” that their parents made them. However, when you were young you considered completing a tedious chore as something terrible which in fact it is not. Your parents were only preparing you for the adult life in which you must complete your chores, and you cannot always be silly and lazy.
There is no strict rule on how to raise your children or the “right” way, but it seems letting go your children to do whatever they like does not bring any good, and because of that we need more mean moms.
The main goal for most parents is to raise their children in responsible adults, but do we prevent that from happening?
For instance, here are some ways that prevents them to learn their responsibilities:
“They should have fun now; they can work for the rest of their lives”
“They’re too young to clean their room”
“It’s easier if I do the dishes, they won’t do them right”
“If they vacuum, I’ll just have to do it again afterwards”
If these are your sentences and follow them by every word, then you are not teaching your children what their responsibilities in life should be. You may think that you are protecting them from the cruel world, but in fact you are doing them a bad favor. In this way you are expecting them to be lazy in their duties, and eventually that is what they will become. Yet, if you give them a challenge it is most likely that they will accept it and try to fulfill it.
Learning about failure in life is also very important. You cannot always give them participation trophies even though the society wants to convey the message that everyone is a winner. Failure and success are integral parts in life and it is better for the child to learn this at young age than to experience it in adulthood.
Here it is what one “mean” mom says on her raising her children. Liz Nielman declares the following:
“I’m a mean mom.
I make them follow rules and I punish them when they don’t.
I make them do chores even when they’re tired.
I say no a lot.
I enforce an early bedtime.
I push them to do hard things.
I take them to piano and baseball and soccer even when they don’t feel like going.
I make them wear bike helmets even though they hate it.
I don’t give them everything they want.
I don’t let them eat buckets of candy.
I make them read their books and study for their spelling tests.
I won’t let them drink soda or watch that rated R movie.”
Here it is what she says to her children and how she expresses her love:
I may not always be popular. I may not always make the decision they want me to, or the one they think is right.
But I love you to pieces. I’ll protect you. I’ll care for you. I’ll fight for you. I’ll try my best to give you the best life imaginable.
And sometimes by doing that, I have to be what you think is “mean”.
And that’s OK. ♥”
Mean moms are not bad mothers, in fact they are better ones teaching their children to fulfilling their responsibilities. In order for their children to become better persons and good people they set boundaries and enforce them even if they are not popular.
Children need to learn how to do the hard things in life, and sometimes you should allow them the experience of suffering the consequences of their mistakes.
Would you allow the following things?
On a Sunday night you find out your child has a project due the next day – do you rush out for them?
Did they forget their lunch at home, again? Are you really going to drive to school and drop it off?
If your kid says they’re sick so they don’t have to play outside, and a friend comes to check up on them – will you take part in their lie?
Your children need to experience the consequences of their bad actions and that does not make you a mean mom. You are just following your principles and in that way teaching them how they should act in their adulthood. You are not a mean mom if you insist your children to finish their chores or allow them to fail. Failure is not the worst thing that can happen to your child, by letting it happen, you are making them more mature and capable to deal with these fails as at some point in their lives they will be happening. This will show them how to be an adult and if they fail they will be able to cope with it and rise more quickly and go on with their lives.
Once your child becomes an adult he or she will be thankful for this type of upbringing which for sure will turn him in a successful adult person.