As human beings we are designed to make mistakes in life, but what makes us human is to recognize them and apologize for our own mistakes.
During our growing up we were taught to apologize for the done mischief and we usually used the words “I’m sorry”. However, this is not very valid when we become adults, as the deed that we have done cannot be covered with these words only.
Just saying “sorry” when we are grown-ups does not cover our bad conduct, so how we can amend for our done deeds. In order to apologize to someone, aside verbally expressing the apology words, you need to be as “loud” as possible in meaning it every word and that should correlate to your disrespect.
Here it is how you can properly apologize to someone you have caused wrong.
Loud Steps of your Apology
First of all acknowledging the fact that you have done something wrong is one step forward to real apology, and according to the done mischief that is how much your apology should “weigh”.
1. Start the apology with the words “I’m sorry”
These two powerful words mean a lot when you verbally say them. In this way you are accepting the fact that you have made the mistake and that you have caused something wrong to another person. However, you need to realize the fact that they are just words, and if you do not mean it, then this only undermines your character and diminishes the true value of these words.
2. Say that you acknowledge your mistake and disrespect
Yes, you should verbally apologize, but those words need to be as loud as your disrespect towards the affected person. You need to express the feelings and thoughts on understanding how your actions hurt this person. Mention your bad actions and that you know how they could influence the person to whom they were meant to. Say that you know how that could have impacted him or her and understand deeply their hurt feelings. Without figuring this part you cannot truly apologize.
3. Talk about how this mistake has changed you
We are humans and we make mistakes, but when we are trying to correct them we actually learn a lot. We learn how to act for the next time and never allow the same thing to happen once again. Knowing the fact that by our deeds we have hurt someone we learn never to repeat them. So, apologizing without really meaning it is not worth it, and without learning what not to do. The other person needs to find out that you have meant it and that you have learned what is right and what is wrong. Only in that way this person will trust you again.
4. Say that you know the consequences of your deeds
A significant part of the apology is your open saying that you realize all the consequences of your deed or spoken words. Plus, you are well aware of the possible consequences, if you do the same thing once again. The offended party will know that this apology is valid if you recognize the consequences of your mistake. Because of that ensure that he or she realizes that you know what that will cost you if you repeat the same mistake.
5. List the things that you will do to prevent such mistake
In this step do it simply and quickly by pointing out the taken steps that will be taken to prevent something like that to happen again. By speaking out the list to the other person you are letting him know that you will work really hard to prevent it in the future and that you will show great diligence from your side. In this way the other party will know that you are truly committed and in that way accept your apology.
6. Ask for forgiveness
In the end you should ask for forgiveness and if the offended person is still not willing to forgive you, repeat some of the above mentioned steps. In fact repeat them as much as needed so that you can have the forgiveness.
You may find saying sorry very difficult and even though you have made a mistake you gave up on it. But, if the offended person matters to you a lot you should put some real effort in it. The apology must be as loud as your disrespect was as that person deserves that.